Sunday, September 16, 2012
Angie: Such As
Next up on our journey to the Philippines is 20 year old Angie Layton from Utah. Angie is a pageant girl who has won all sorts of fascinating ribbons and bows and rhinestones from various Miss Teen USA pageants. She is incredibly cute, but she's 20 and you know how I feel about underage contestants on Survivor. I don't like them! I don't condone them. I don't want to watch them. I'm not interested in them. And I just can't take a person seriously until they can legally buy their weekly rations of 14 bottles of wine at the corner liquor store from the one-eyed guy named Joe who blasts Skynyrd every time you walk in the door.
The youngest of five children, Angie likes to work out, scrapbook, and hang out with her "peeps". Since the only other reality show scrapbooker I know is named Danielle and is about to unleash a bucket of pig's blood into the Big Brother house, Angie now has two strikes against her. One for being a child and the second for using card stock to commemorate the many grocery store openings she's attended. Oh wait, I forgot about "peeps". Strike three!
The Survivor contestant Angie compares herself to is Fabio because she thinks all dumb blondes are underestimated. *crickets* She hopes to meet lots of "hotties" on the show and is like totally bummed that she can't bring a camera with her to document her "journey" for her scrapbook. *stares blankly*
Alright, let's just get this over with. Please to enjoy:
Just kidding. Here's the real video (which is remarkably similar to the one you just saw!)
She looks like she's 12. Come on Survivor! The poor girl can't even remember where to put her consonants let alone know what the word "strategy" means. She says she "agreed to do Survivor" (that's code for recruitment) yet she says she's always wanted to do it. You know what? It's pageant fluff. "Experience", "journey", "once in a lifetime" fluff. She's a very pretty girl and I think the male fans are going to absolutely love her, but I'm not expecting anything remarkable out of this chick at all. She'll find someone to follow and call the shots for her - most likely an older male - and it'll probably get her pretty far in the game. Maybe she'll surprise me and be a vindictive villain, but I'm not holding my breath.
So, what do we think of Angie? Does the underage thing bug you as much as it does me? Comment it out bitches!